While walking down a street one day, a well-known United States Senator is hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives at the gates of Heaven, where he is met by St. Peter.
‘Welcome to Heaven,’ says St. Peter. ‘We do have a problem in your case. We seldom see former politicians in these parts, so we are unsure quite what to do with you.’
‘No problem Pete, just let me in,’ says the Senator.
‘Unfortunately, my Boss has ruled that out for the moment,’ responds the Saint. Instead, you are to spend one day in Hell and one day in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend your eternity.
The Senator is then deposited in the down escalator which takes him to Hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a club house surrounded by many former politicians who had worked with and for him before passing on. They welcome him effusively, reminisce about the good old days when they became rich at ther expense of others. They dine on lobster, caviar and champagne, dance with beautiful and adoring women, and mix freely with the Devil, whom everyone clearly reveres.
Reluctantly the Senator enters the up elevator which returns him to Heaven and to St. Peter. In Heaven, the Senator becomes bored, joining a group of complete strangers who play the harp and sing, rather than reminiscing about politics.
St Peter returns and asks the Senator whether his eternity shall be Heaven or Hell. ‘For Satan’s sake, there is no comparison,’ responds the Senator. ‘Hell is the place for me!’
Down the Senator goes, for the final journey to his chosen destination. The elevator doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a barren land, covered with waste and garbage. His friends are now dressed in rags, picking up trash, thin and emaciated by malnutrition.
The Devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. ‘I do not understand,’ stammers the Senator. ‘Yesterday, I was here, and there was a golf course, and a club house. We dined on lobster and caviar, drank vintage champagne, and danced with beautiful women. What has happened?’
The Devil looks at him and smiles wickedly as he responds:
‘Yesterday, I was out campaigning.’
TODAY, YOU HAVE CAST YOUR VOTE.’
Hat Tip: Arye Hillman